Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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