i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize