i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
