So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize