The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
