both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
