I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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