The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
