So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
