OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
