Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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