I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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