I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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