are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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