google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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