Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
