omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
