I wannas sexs uuuuu
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
