Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
