people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
