I should be sponsored by Trojan
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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