it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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