dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Found your dick twin last night
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
