I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
