i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
