I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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