I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
