I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
