My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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