Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
