Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
