i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We need to rekindle our bromance
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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