Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize