you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize