He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
