So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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