Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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