Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
