are you still at the devil's house?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
