ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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