I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
