My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
