at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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