I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
