he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
