Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
