gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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