So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
