this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
