i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm sobbing to NWA
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
