Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize