I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
