You're my little dorito
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
