dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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