brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You ruined the universe
Randomize
