O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
