Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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