Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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