The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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