He had one of those small greek statue penises
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
